7-3-87
(Midnite) Quiet nite. (Nice.)
(8am) Women who are looking for a one woman man, think I am not one; and women who aren't looking for one, think I am one. (Isn't the truth, for now anyway, that I am a no woman man?)
(3pm) Nice workout. (I have been venting my hostility on the iron, and my repetitions are finally going up again.)
(6pm) Nice sun tanning session.
As Joe commented, I was once obsessed with making money. (My ex was obsessed with having things, and she made my life hell if she didn't get what she wanted, when she wanted it! (I had to be obsessed with making money in order to keep her happy!)) (Lots of times she didn't even bother to ask if we could afford something, and just took off with the credit cards. (She said that spending money relieved her depressions. (She was depressed a lot.) (It would help for a few hours or a few days, but it was never long before the next depression and the next spending spree.)) (That is how I ended up $120,000 in debt when I got divorced. (I had made a lot of money, but it was never enough!)))
I keep talking about not wanting much; but it's probably just so I fit my reality. (I can't afford much until the marriage is paid off, and wanting a lot would be depressing. (So I have learned to be happy with little!)) (Someday though, I am hoping for some nicer things. (I would like to get a little house, have enough money to socialize and date, have the money for some therapy (so I can socialize and date), be able to travel a little, and not be living on the edge of losing everything at any moment.))
On a more positive note, I read an article on the record and publishing businesses today. (It says that during the time period when I was trying to publish "Feelings", the book industry was in a major depression.) (According to this article, they still aren't buying as many new authors as they once did, but it's more than then. (I think I will try selling "Feelings" again. (Given how much time I spend writing, I should at least try to sell something. (I doubt I would make much, but even a couple bucks would help!)-(I watched a show on tv Sunday that talked about the publishing business. (It said the average writer makes $5,000/year.)))))
7-4-87
(Midnite) Happy 4th!
I took myself to "Dragnet". (Funny movie.)
"Donahue" today was on the shortage of men in America, and how a lot of women have to share the same man to have one in their lives. (They said the male:female ratio in Washington, DC, is 1:7. (They ought to move to Montana.)) (One woman called in and commented that there are a lot of single men sitting at home watching tv alone. (True, but so what. (Those of us who have taken ourselves out of the game are of no use to women who are looking for a lover and a companion; and they are better off with a married man.) (And, there are a lot of single women doing the same thing, and I doubt it changes the odds any.)))