(8pm) Another way I have pissed people off is by being argumentative. (Often times I will take the opposing side of an issue, just for the sake of arguing.) (When I was in college and living at home, I would come home drunk fairly often on the weekends. (My dad and one of his drinking buddies would be sitting in the kitchen. They would pour me a drink, and we would end up arguing until dawn. (It didn't matter what I said, they would take the opposite position. (It pissed me off at the time, but it taught me to think!))))-(Now I tend to the same thing to others. (It forces everyone to think. (I think that is good, but it sure pisses some people off. (e.g., depending on whether Carrie and Hunter were getting along, Hunter would either argue for or against sexual monogamy, and I would always take up the opposing argument. (It pissed him off a lot, but hopefully it made him think.)))))

Another puzzle: Why can't I talk like I write? (I seem to need the distance of writing to someone, to think clearly and express myself.) (Tis often hours or days before I figure out how to respond to something someone says, which makes talking a problem. (I suppose that ties in with Erica's comments about my lack of spontaneity.)-(How do I shut off the analytical, and just flow with it?))

I am still lost as to how to chase women. (I have spent my whole life, it seems, running away from them and I never learned how.)

(9pm) How is this as an answer to the puzzle of how to make love stay: You can't make love do anything. All you can do is be happy when it's with you; and know that, when it leaves, it will be back. (Unless you close and bar the door after it.) (?)

Quote of the day:

Ernest Becker-"Men fashion unfreedom as a bride for self-perpetuation."

How about a couple jokes:

1. Did you hear about the nuclear scientist who swallowed some uranium and got atomic ache?

2. How about the nuclear scientist who had too many ions in the fire?

(One advantage of no one showing up for the party is that the jokes don't need to be good.)

I have been following the articles on the deterioration of the ozone layer. (Pretty scary. (Or am I overreacting because I am into laying out in the sun?))

7-4-86

(4am) Happy fourth to everyone!

I passed out at ten last nite and woke up at 3am. (I can't sleep, so I will write.)

Note from the ozone: Isn't conditioning the primary reason there is pain associated with sex? (I am still convinced we could solve the problems of birth control and sexually transmitted diseases, if we would make them a priority and stop trying to sweep those problems under the rug.) (The only reason I can think of for that conditioning is to keep people dependent. (And, to keep people busy fighting among themselves, and buried in emotional turmoil.)) (Anthropology shows that humans are essentially monogamous creatures, regardless of social conditioning; but "sexual monogamy" isn't a possibility given the reality of being human!)

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