I found a long letter from Erica waiting for me when I got home.

(9pm) I took a two-hour nap and I feel better. (I think I will hike downtown, despite the rain.)

Now Erica agrees that I should find some way to get my mind off of sex, in order find it. (I have spent so much time worrying about it, that it gets in the way of finding it.) (Try to focus on building friendships and let whatever happens, happen in its own time and way. (Easier said than done!))

I thought about making a trip to Wallace with this money, but decided to wait. (Pick up a bike, buy some clothes, and do some getting out and about. (I need to meet people more than I need to go to Wallace and get laid.))

5-4-86

(Midnite) I walked downtown in the rain (I love walking the rain.), but I couldn't get into the Top Hat tonite. On the walk home, I stopped into the Trails End. (I ran into Lisa there and apologized to her for the fellow from Belgrade spacing off his date with her.) (We had a nice visit.) (She is good people.)

(10am) The customers at the Hat were mostly Native Americans last nite. (I have done some partying with Native Americans before, but so far they have always drank me under the table.) (The same thing happened with the Chicanos I have partied with.) (Good people, but I can't keep up with them, when they start drinking.) (That reminds me of the time I had a chance to do two women. (I was partying up in the mountains outside Alamosa, Colorado with some Chicano friends from Denver. Since I hadn't gotten laid in almost a year, they had invited two women to come up that nite to molest me. Anyway, we started drinking ta-kill-ya and smoking pot around seven in the morning, and I passed out around eight in the evening (About the time the women showed up.), and slept through the whole thing.)-(Oh well.)

Lisa says she likes my Belgrade friend a lot, but that she can't deal with being around him when he consumes as much as he was last week. (I would agree.)-(Some people just shouldn't drink.)-(I saw a T-shirt at the Scoop that was relevant: "Reality is for people who can't handle drugs.")

(2pm) Note from the ozone: Men without women in their lives seem to develop sharp edges. (Some guys with girlfriends have sharp edges to, but maybe that relates to not really making her a part of his life and really letting her in?)

(3pm) Note from the ozone: I wonder if the problem of prisons reinforcing antisocial behavior, rather than diminishing it, relates to the segregation by gender? (People always point to associating with other criminals as the cause; but maybe it's, in part, the lack of interaction with the opposite sex and normal sexual patterns? (I think it will take a joint effort of women and men working together, if this civilization is to be saved.)-(The same need for balance and gender integration might well improve the odds of people coming out of prison and not being more violent than when they went in.))

(4pm) I picked up some books to send to Joe for his birthday.

(10pm) I walked downtown tonite and took myself to "Brazil". (Strange movie.)

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